


Who you deserve

by ink_stained



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker Endgame, Light Angst, M/M, Pining Martin Blackwood, Smoking, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Unrequited Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, past Jonathan Sims/Elias Bouchard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24251965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ink_stained/pseuds/ink_stained
Summary: Martin just wants to be the one Jon deserves.
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Jonathan Sims, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist/Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	Who you deserve

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea when I was listening to Who you deserve preformed by George Salazar and just had to write it.   
> I hope you'll enjoy it! I will link the song in the end notes.

The Magnus institute was a good workplace. The work he did down in the archives was simple enough that Martin had been able to pick it up quickly even without a degree in parapsychology like he claimed on his CV. And the pay was good so he could finally afford to place his mother in that home she wanted to live in. 

Martin also got along well with his coworkers. Sasha was very sweet and always helped him if he got stuck on anything or didn’t know what to do. Tim was very friendly and outgoing, the very opposite of Martin. And then there was Jon, the head archivist and Martin’s boss. When Martin first joined the Institute and was very much out of his depth he did a lot of mistakes which had made Jon dislike him and see him as incompetent at his job, a fair assumption considering Martin wasn’t actually qualified. Martin had been terrified of Jon back then, terrified of being found out, of messing up and of getting fired. But while Jon did not hide his contempt for Martin’s work he didn’t fire him or have him transferred out of the archives. And as time went by and Martin got the hang of his new job and stopped making pointless mistakes, Jon warmed up towards martin. 

\---

The first time Jon smiled as he thanked Martin for the cup of tea, Martin knew he was in trouble. While Martin knew that Jon was exactly his type, intellectual and put together, he had thought that nothing would come out of it, Jon hated him after all. But that was no longer the case, and now Martin’s heart skipped a beat every time Jon smiled his way. 

It wasn’t fair. Jon’s smile should not have that effect on Martin, he was his boss for god’s sake! It was unprofessional and Martin would not pursue it any further. At least that was what he told himself. But the heart wants what the heart wants and now Martin’s heart wanted to be closer to Jon. 

\---

It started small. Mainly because Martin wasn’t really sure about what to do in this situation, but also because he couldn’t just walk up to Jon and say that he liked him. One, that had never been something Martin had done and he wasn’t going to start now and two, Martin knew that Jon was a bit adverse towards romance and very picky when it came to relationships. So Martin did what he always did, he made tea. By now he had learned how Jon liked his tea and when he liked it so the first step was simply to continue making tea for Jon and establish a good working relationship. 

Step two was more foolish. Jon was a smoker, and during his breaks he always went out the fire escape to smoke in the alley outside of the Institute. Martin wasn’t a smoker, had never smoked in his life but somehow he found himself buying a pack of cigarettes on his way home one day. It was reckless, it was a bad idea, but the next day when Jon took his smoke break Martin asked to come with. 

“I didn’t know you smoked,” Jon said surprised and a bit hesitant. 

“I don’t do it much,” Martin answered, his palms sweaty as he rubbed them against his trousers. “I try to avoid doing it during work time but I recently went through a bit of a messy breakup, and I guess I started to do it more to cope,” Martin added, lying through his teeth. 

“Oh.” Jon looked surprised and a bit sheepish. “I guess there’s no harm in it. Um, I mean you’re welcome to join.” 

And so Martin found himself in the back alley smoking with Jon, trying his hardest not to choke as the smoke filled his lungs and curled around his teeth. 

“Do you…” Jon said after they had stood in comfortable silence for a while. “Um.. that is to say... Do you want to talk about it? Your break up I mean,” Jon quickly added at Martin’s panicked look. “I know it’s not my place, me being your boss and all. And I don’t know how much help I can be, I usually don’t get involved in relationships but Georgie always used to say that it’s good to talk about your feelings.” 

Martin looked at him slightly in awe and slightly embarrassed. “I… um yeah, yeah that might help actually,” Martin forced out after a bit too much silence, totally disregarding that his recent breakup was a lie so he could smoke with his boss whom he had a crush on. Gosh, when did his life become so complicated? 

When he looked at Jon again he looked slightly relieved, as if Marting agreeing to talk about his feelings was a good thing. Well, Marting thought, in for a penny, in for a pound. 

Martin did have a break up that ended badly, it was six months ago though so it wasn’t recent, but he hadn’t really talked about it with anyone so he might as well tell Jon about it. And so he did. 

This became something of a routine for them after a while, sometime in the afternoon they would both take a slightly longer smoke break and talk about stuff, mostly it was bad exes. Jon had a surprising history of many bad relationships and Martin was fascinated to learn more. It turned out that Jon used to date the head of the Institute and all of their boss, Elias Bouchard. 

“It didn’t work out in the end,” Jon said, in a way that indicated that it should be obvious. “I couldn’t be what he wanted in a partner, I just wasn’t enough you know. He likes control, and I just couldn’t give up mine in the way he wanted, in the way he needed. And in the end, I just wasn’t enough.” The last part was punctuated by a long drag of his cigarette. Jon had a faraway look in his eyes, like he was remembering it. He let out a wistful sigh and Martin wanted so badly to take his hand, look him in the eyes and tell him that he was enough, tell him that he would always be enough and that everything he gave was a gift worth treasuring forever and that if Elias couldn’t see that then that was his loss. But instead, Martin laughed softly, took a drag of his own cigarette and told Jon about something that happened with one of his exes. 

\---

Jon and Martin had a new working dynamic and it felt good. Martin felt good. It felt like he was gliding on a cloud high in the sky, and he wasn’t afraid of falling. Soon, he told himself, soon he could begin to show Jon just how much he meant to Martin, how wonderful Martin thought he was. Soon, he just needed a bit more time. There was no rush, what they had was good, it was great, there was no rush. 

But of course, an amazing guy like Jon can’t be expected to wait forever on Martin. He should have expected it really. What he didn’t expect though was that it was Tim. 

He knew that Tim was very flirty, everyone knew it. So Tim being a bit flirty with Jon, Martin had just marked up to Tim being friendly. Sure, Matin had noticed an increase in Tim’s flirting lately, mainly towards Jon, but Tim had had that thing with Sasha a while back so surely it must be nothing. Oh, but how wrong he had been. And while he had taken it slow, let Jon get accustomed to his presence, trying very hard not to come on too strong, Tim had just come in guns blazing, banging pots and pans and somehow that had worked on Jon. Sweet Jon who wore his soft sweaters over stiff collared shirts, who’s hair was always messy because he couldn’t be bothered to do anything about it and who gets flustered by emotions and who mainly speak in a very direct manner that some people might interpret as standoffish but Martin knows is just how Jon’s brain works and how he views the world. Emotions confuse him sometimes and when he doesn’t understand something he gets the most adorable little wrinkle between his eyes and his nose scrunches up a little bit. And Martin, Martin is just so caught up in all of these little details, all of these little moments to notice Tim flirting, to notice Jon flirting back and when he does notice, Jon tells him during their now daily smoke break that he’s going to give Tim a chance. 

“He’s not a bad looking guy, and he’s fun to be around,” Jon says, a fond, almost soft smile on his lips, a smile Martin wishes so badly would be directed towards him instead. 

“I don’t know if it’s going to go anywhere.” Jon takes another drag from his cigarette. “But there’s no point worrying about that. It’s been a while since I did something not fully calculated.” 

And Martin knows this, knows this because he’s talked with Jon about this before. He knows how Jon thinks when it comes to relationships, knows how much he usually calculates, often not prepared to try something that in the end might not even last three months. So Martin thought he knew about Jon’s views on relationships, but he just didn’t count on Tim. 

\---

Jon is happy. Martin can see that. Jon is happy because of Tim and it twists something inside of Martin to see that so clearly. He shouldn’t have waited. He should just have said it directly and dealt with the consequences of that. Maybe then he could have been the one who made Jon look so damn happy and not Tim. 

Martin likes Tim. He did before and he still does now, even with everything. Tim is just one of those guys that are hard to hate, hard to dislike even, he’s just so damn cheerful and upbeat and even if Martin wanted to hate Tim he can’t. But he doesn’t want to hate Tim. Tim is his friend, and Jon is his friend, crush or no crush, so he has to be happy for them as long as they’re happy together, and he is. He really is. He wishes that he was the one who made Jon happy, who got him pointless flowers and took him in lunch dates. Gosh, he wishes it was him, but now it is Tim and Jon is happy. Martin can see the happiness shining in Jons eyes and therefore he can’t hate Tim, he can’t hate Jon. He can just be happy for them both and wish them all the best. 

Martin still brings Jon tea, as well as Tim and Sasha, that’s just what he does now to be friendly. Martin also still smokes, every day in the afternoon he stands out in the alley with Jon and smokes and talks about pointless things and he smiles, twists his heart in his chest and smiles, just happy that Jon is happy. The smoke fills his lungs like Jon’s smile fills his heart and curls around his teeth so that he can pretend that’s why he has a bitter taste in his mouth. 

Jon has found someone who makes him happy, and no matter how long it will last, it is what he deserves. Tim makes Jon feel happy, feel seen and loved, and that is exactly who Jon deserves.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments give me life! 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEoye2Slg5E


End file.
